Filed under: Misc
My wonderful readers, I have finally successfully moved to http://www.carrotsformichaelmas.com. Please visit me there and subscribe via email or RSS to keep receiving my posts. Thanks! You’re the best!
Head on over to Raising a Green Family (the blog by Jen and Claire of Ecological Babies) to read my post on growing an urban garden! It’s my first guest post ever and I was so excited to be asked to contribute.
“When we bought our first home two years ago, one of the things we were most excited about was turning our front yard into an urban garden. And we’ve had the best time making it happen! Currently, we’re successfully growing onions, garlic, oats, potatoes, tomatoes, fresh herbs, summer squash, lettuce, swiss chard, peppers, cabbage, and eggplant. Also, despite the raccoons best efforts, we’ve kept 3 chickens alive long enough to provide us with fresh eggs each day. Our reasons for designating our front yard for vegetable beds and a chicken coop included health, frugality, education, and love of good food (although never having to mow again was a motivating factor)…”
Filed under: Books | Tags: books, familiaris consortio, hunger games, mrs. piggle-wiggle, reads, sword of honour
April came and went without a post of our reads so I’m catching up now! I always end up reading more than one book at a time. Does anybody else do that? Or do you dutifully finish one before you start the next?
I started and finished The Hunger Games Trilogy (The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay) by Suzanne Collins and I stayed up way too late in the process. I’m honestly not sure what I think about them yet. They were exciting and engaging; however, I felt like Collins was making me, as the reader, complicit in the crimes of “The Capitol” which viewed the Games as entertainment since I was being entertained by the violence as well. What did you think about the books or movie (haven’t seen it yet)? Any good articles that might help me think about them more?
I’m about halfway through Men at Arms, the first novel of the Sword of Honour Trilogy by my all-time favorite author: Evelyn Waugh.
I finally finished the last book of the Pendragon Cycle by Stephen Lawhead. My love for all things Arthurian is a tad embarrassing, but I can’t help it. I was mildly obsessed with Tennyson’s The Lady of Shalott as a young child because Anne loved it and because I loved all things Anne. I also adored the musical Camelot with Vanessa Redgrave and Richard Harris. I watched it every time I got strep throat, which was often, between the ages of 5 and 7. Seriously. They knew me well at the walk-in clinic (because I always fell ill on the weekend of course) and nicknamed me “the strep magnet.” I became buddies with the cool nurse named Val. Oh the good times we had…
Anyhow, that’s my story for why I’m willing to read books with humiliatingly bad cover art like so:
Let’s move on shall we?
I plan on finishing The Blessed Pope John Paul II’s encyclical Familiaris Consortio tomorrow morning. So so good.
I’ve been trying to find something in the chapter book category that would catch 3-year-old Benjamin’s fancy as a read aloud. He’s not ready for Narnia, Alice in Wonderland, Jungle Book, or anything else without pictures on every page that I’ve tried reading to him. BUT, yesterday I discovered with glee that he LOVES Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle. We read a chapter last night and a chapter this morning of Mrs. Piggle Wiggle’s Magic by Betty MacDonald and he was giggling and completely captivated. Hooray!
What are you reading? What are you reading to your littles? And do let me know what you thought of The Hunger Games. I’m dying to know.
Filed under: Misc
So sorry about all the silence over here, folks! I’ve been (very unsuccessfully) attempting to move my blog from wordpress.COM to wordpress.ORG which is why this post is more than a week overdue. I’ve made some progress but now I’m stuck again when trying to import all the posts to the .org version. Whew. I’ve got a couple of giveaways for you up my sleeve but wordpress.com doesn’t allow any sponsored giveaways so I need to move my blog before I can offer them to you.
Coming Up in the Liturgical Year: It’s still Eastertide! Thursday is the Feast of Saints Philip and James. Do you have any traditions for that feast, culinary or otherwise?
Listening to: Seabear. My 3-year-old is really into Icelandic bands. There is no reasonable explanation except that he’s super hip. This isn’t a new song but it’s one of his favorites and we’ve been jamming out to it lately even though it’s more of an Autumn kind of song.
Watching: Once Upon a Time. I can’t decide whether the show is embarrassing or awesome. I keep wanting to get Daniel to watch it with me , but then I remember that horrible episode about Dreamy the dwarf…
Our 21 Day Challenge (Raising a Green Family): In case you were wondering, my 21 day challenge is developing the habit of making my bed every day instead of leaving it a perpetual tangle of disaster. Benjamin noticed right off and said, “Wow, Mama. Your bed looks so pretty like this!” The unfamiliar sight was almost too much for him.
Asthma Update:Yesterday we took Benjamin to an allergist to try to figure out what his asthma triggers are. I was right about him being allergic to gluten! Vindicated! And he’s super allergic to dust mites so watch out as I become a nut about making his room as dust-free as possible.
My Quotable Mom:
My parents have been in a California for my cousin’s wedding for the past few days. I received the following email from my mom:“You may hear rumors from your “delusional” cousins, asserting that they witnessed all the uncles and aunts, in formal wear at the wedding, dancing in pairs to the song, “Twist & Shout.” If you receive “evidence” of photos of the uncles and aunts in “Twist & Shout” dance poses, in formal clothing, just remember that the technology of “Photo Shop” makes anything possible.”
These are my parents. Aren’t they adorbs?! They were high school sweethearts.
The Quotable Benjamin:
“If we had a big magnifying glass, would we be able to see a cat’s penis? But…it might not like that. Because its penis is private so it’s just for him and not for us.” I’m glad my 3-year-old is becoming concerned with proper etiquette.
Pictures Worth Sharing:
Baby girl sleeping in the crook of my arm. Has to be one of life’s sweetest things!
Lucy Update: Baby girl has been practicing taking naps in the co-sleeper instead of in bed with me. We haven’t set up her crib yet, but we’ll need to soon because she’s almost too big for the co-sleeper. I’ve been getting her very very sleepy and making sure she’s clean and full of mama milk and then I put her in the co-sleeper to nap. She usually fusses for 1 or 2 minutes before she’s out like a light. I hope that’s not traumatic for her. And I’m starting her out in the co-sleeper in a separate room at night and then when she wakes up (last night she slept from 10pm to 1am in it) I bring her into our bed.
She also started her first solid food yesterday (she’s 6.5 months so I guess it’s about time) and really gobbled up that avocado! I just used my finger as a spoon and gave her tiny bites. I remember trying to get 3 month old Benjamin to eat rice cereal. What a disaster! Looking back, he was definitely not ready for that and I wish we had started him off with veggies and fruits instead of grains. Do you have any recommendations for first foods? I’m planning on introducing banana or sweet potato in a couple days. Basically, I’m lazy so I want something that’s easy to mash up so I don’t have to puree things in my blender. What a drag.
And she’s scootin’ all over the place. I don’t know if you can call it crawling because she doesn’t really use her knees. She just pushes off with her toes and then uses her arms to propel herself across the floor. Also, she is adorable. Proof:
Hopefully this weekend I can figure out how to finish making the blog move to wordpress.org. Thanks for your patience!
Filed under: Misc
Coming Up in the Liturgical Year: St. George’s Day on Monday! I don’t have a menu planned yet but we will definitely read this beautifully illustrated book to the kids. It’s one of Benjamin’s very favorite books. Do you have any St. George traditions?
Pray the Family Rosary, Distractions and All by Agnes Penny (A great reminder!)
My Life as a Failed Country Gentleman by P.J. O’Rourke: “One season of agriculture in New England explains manifest destiny. America’s westward expansion was mainly an excuse to kill raccoons and wear them as hats.”
Humility: The First of the Lively Virtues by Anthony Esolen (I’ve never read anything by Esolen that I didn’t absolutely love.)
The Quotable Benjamin:
“Can I have s’more jelly beans? I mean, garbanzo beans?” – candy-deprived 3-year-old, gobbling up chick peas like there’s no tomorrow.
“I think our next-door neighbors are pirates.”
“Would you like a bite of my om-a-lette, Mama? Here, open up your little bird mouth and I’ll let you taste it!”
“Let’s go outside so I can grow a beard. Do you think we have the right kind of seeds?”
Pictures Worth Sharing:
Benjamin seems to be completely over his asthma attack of last weekend. And thank goodness because the boy does not stop moving. So I had to say the phrase, “SLOW YOUR BODY DOWN” at least 500 times when he was still under Dr’s orders to take it easy. I took this picture during naptime, the only time the constant wild motion stops…
This sweet girl has a little temperature this morning. She’s acting normal and eating well so I’m just gonna keep an eye on it.
There’s something about a baby girl in a sundress that just slays me. Giant forehead!
When Daniel cooks it makes me want to give up cooking forever. He makes amazing things that look so purty. This was Short Ribs in Asian Black Bean Sauce, Cinnamon Cumin Glazed Carrots, Rice Noodles with Tofu and Egg, and Salad from the Garden.
Springtime in the South is just…..perfect. Confederate Jasmine has to be my favorite scent.
I just bought one of the Mamapedia deals for Ecomom.com ($20 for $40 worth of products) and I think I’m going to use it to get Lucy some cloth training pants. Do you get the Mamapedia emails? I found out about them from Brittany and the nifty thing is that you get $10 credit anytime someone you shared the deal with makes a purchase, so usually I’ve got some credit in the account and I feel like I’m always getting freebies. There’s another one available for 50% off Bumkins, too. Speaking of cloth diapers…I’ve got a cloth diaper giveaway in the works. More on that soon.
I hope you have a lovely weekend! I’m throwing a friend a cloth diaper shower tomorrow in celebration of her baby girl’s upcoming arrival. Got any weekend plans?
p.s. You can be super hip and like Carrots for Michaelmas on FB now.
Filed under: Children, Motherhood | Tags: Motherhood, quitting grad school, stay-at-home mom
Firstly, let me clarify what this post is not. This is not a post in which I judge working mothers. Five weeks after my son was born I went back to work full-time until after he turned one. Daniel needed to finish school so I needed to bring home the bacon. I don’t think that made me a bad mother, nor do I think that other moms who need to or choose to work outside the home are bad mothers. However, this is a post in which I explain why staying home was the right choice for me. This is a post in which I challenge our culture’s views on the value of motherhood.
My husband had just finished his thesis and graduated and our son was almost 18 months old when I applied to and was accepted into a graduate program at Unnamed University in Unnamed Department with stipend and a tuition waver. I was really excited about the opportunity. I had been pretty miserable being away from my son, Benjamin, 9-10 hours everyday at work and I thought that my program would allow me more time with him since I could do much of my studying at home. I was also motivated to begin grad school because a) I loved what I was going to get to study and b) I felt like I needed to use my academic skills (I graduated from a very prestigious undergraduate program) and move toward a career path. Because that’s what you do if you’re a well-educated, intelligent woman, right? You have a career! You make an impressive salary! You definitely don’t just stay home, right?
So, I began my program during the summer session. My classes were inspiring. I loved the course material. I was getting good feedback from my professors. But…I just wasn’t happy. When I was in class or in the library I missed Benjamin so much and I wished I were home with him. When I was home with Benjamin I felt anxious and preoccupied: “I really should be studying right now! I wish he would go to sleep so I can finish my readings! I need to go back to the library!” I couldn’t just relax and enjoy the precious hours with my boy. I started to think more seriously about my program and what exactly I was going to do with my degree. After all, our current economy isn’t kind to teaching positions in the humanities. When I graduated, how would I get a job? Would I have to move? (We had just moved back to our hometown for my program and were blissfully spoiled by having two sets of grandparents in town.) What about having more babies? Wouldn’t it be impossibly hard to get tenure while mothering more than one child? And if I wait to have more babies until after getting tenure…my fertile days might be over. And perhaps most importantly: do I really need a prestigious career in order to be happy?
Toward the end of the semester, I met with the Director of the program and explained that I was seriously considering leaving the program to raise my son and just work part-time. The director voiced his concern that I was throwing away a great opportunity: great program, full-tuition waver, stipend, not the sort of thing you just walk away from. “You can be a mother and an academic,” he claimed. He described a female faculty member in another department who had 3 children and yet had a successful career. (I later discovered that the female professor’s husband stayed home full-time to raise their children.) Anyhow, he said he would give my number to the only female faculty member in our department who had children (she had one child) so she could explain just how to do it all.
When she called me, she described her life a little bit. I was admittedly shocked to hear that she commuted to Florida from…..Pennsylvania. Every week, leaving her son with her husband for the week and going home for the weekend. It’s not that I think that makes her a horrible mother. Different things work for different families and jobs in the humanities are hard to come by. But, for me, it would be a miserable way to live my life.
I voiced some of my struggles with being a mother in grad school such as feeling constantly torn between two worlds. “What you need to learn,” she explained, “is how to compartmentalize your life. When I get on that plane I am Dr. X, then when I get home I can be mom again.” I tried to explain that learning to compartmentalize my life didn’t appeal to me very much, what I was trying to do was integrate my life. Live it as a whole. Not have to sever various aspects of myself into this or that context.
Then she told me all the dreadful things that would happen if I left the program to stay home: “You will become intellectually stagnant.” (I’ll forget how to think? Is that what happens to everyone who doesn’t have an advanced degree?) “You will only have friends who talk about diapers and you’ll be bored out of your mind.” (Um….who do you think I hang out with? And how insulting is that to SAHMs?) “You will wake up in 10 years and realize you don’t know who you are.” (You are your career, she seemed to say. If you’re merely a mother, when your kids go to school, you are no one.) But to me that mindset seemed very odd because my identity must be found in Christ, anything else will be ultimately unsatisfying. If my identity was wrapped around being a respected professor, it would be just as misplaced, if not more, as if my identity was founded on my role as a mother alone.
Anyhow, I tried to explain to her that I just didn’t feel like I was being the mother I desired to be while I was trying to succeed in the graduate program.
“Oh, you’re just experiencing guilt because of cultural norms of motherhood.” (“I am?” I thought. “Aren’t almost all American mothers working mothers? Isn’t staying at home the exception, not the rule? Isn’t the pressure I’m feeling concentrated around having a successful career to define me instead of the unimpressive role of merely being a mother?”)
“You have no reason to feel guilty. Your son doesn’t need you with him every minute.”
“It’s not that I feel guilty, necessarily.” I explained. “When my son isn’t with me he’s with his dad or his grandmother having a wonderful time. He’s happy and coping very well when I leave for class or to study. But I am miserable. I MISS him.”
“Well, your son will be around forever. But this is your one chance to do this program and have this opportunity.”
This statement seemed completely upside down to me. “But…my son won’t be almost two forever. He’ll only be almost two RIGHT NOW. And…I wasn’t aware that medieval studies was going anywhere…”
“You son is almost two? At that age they just want attention. It really doesn’t matter at all whether they get that attention from you or from someone else.” And then there was the real kicker: “At that age, a dog could take care of your child.”
“A dog could….what?!” I refrained from saying, “You are out of your ever-loving mind! You have successfully convinced me to stay home with my kids because your entire perspective on motherhood is absurd!” But I didn’t say that. I think I mostly just stood with my mouth open, too shocked to speak a real sentence. Because of course, I knew she didn’t mean that literally a dog could raise my kid. No, indeed. What she meant was far more offensive than that. She meant that the day-in-day-out tasks of motherhood are such meaningless drudgery that an intelligent, well-educated woman with potential to succeed in a prestigious career should never lower herself to merely raise children. Such work requires neither intelligence, creativity, engaging challenges, nor the unique attention and love that only I, as their mother, can give my babies in the daily tasks of mothering them. Staying home with my babies has no real value. There would be no paycheck, no performance reviews. Diaper changes and feedings and kissing boo boos and tucking them in at night: those things can be done by someone else, while I reach my true potential and gain respect in my field.
I was appalled. The thing is, the professor wasn’t a bad person. She wasn’t trying to insult me. She was trying to help me. She felt sorry for me. (Poor young mother! She got landed with this kid at 23 and now she’s having to give up her dreams and throw her life away!) But I think her perspective was misguided.
At this point in the conversation, I tried to respectfully explain that I thought I had made up my mind as to what I would do and I would let them know as soon as possible so that they could give the funding going to my tuition waver and stipend to someone else. Because I had made up my mind. I had made up my mind to be there with my kids. To embrace the daily grind of motherhood. To discover it’s not drudgery at all, but something meaningful and beautiful, using every ounce of my intelligence and creativity to do it well, challenging me at every turn. This work of motherhood is my vocation, my privilege, and my joy.
It’s been almost two years since I quit grad school. During that time, I’ve had another precious baby and never regretted my decision once. Not for one second. Because I can’t imagine that life could get any better than this.
Filed under: Misc
First of all, sweet Benjamin is home from the hospital. We are so thankful that he only had to stay one night before being released. He really was very very good for an insanely active 3-year-old who has to sit still on a bed for 24 hours. He tried to be very brave and was so good and cooperative when they removed his IV even though he cried hard enough to break this mama’s heart. We’ve been trying to keep him quiet and still (yeah RIGHT) as best we can. It doesn’t help that albuterol and the steroids they prescribed him make him super WIRED. But we’ve been playing cards, reading books, and watching movies as much as we can. Right now he’s at the IMAX seeing The Lorax with Daddy as his special treat for being such a good boy at the hospital. Thanks so much for all your prayers and well wishes for him! I think we have a plan for his asthma treatment in the future and we’re going to see an allergist in a couple of weeks (his asthma is usually triggered by runny nose from colds or allergies). Look at this sad little boy in this pic from the hospital. Can you see how he’s got dark red circles around his eyes? Apparently they’re called allergy shiners and can signal the beginning of an attack. They’re almost gone today so that means his asthma is getting under control.
Coming Up in the Liturgical Year: We’re still in the octave of Easter. Celebrate! Since much of our Easter Octave was spent at various Dr’s offices and the hospital, we didn’t get to do as much celebrating as I’d hoped (although we’re certainly celebrating that Benjamin is home and getting better!). But I would love to make one of these beautiful Paschal Candles.
Links: Survival Tips for Parents of Three-Year-Olds – Natural Parents Network (Helpful since we’ve been experiencing some serious terrible threes around these parts)
Declaring War on Newborns – Andrew Ferguson
Killing Kindergarten – Amanda Moreno: “If you wanted to create an education environment that was directly opposed to what the brain was good at doing, you would probably design something like a classroom.” (quote from John Medina)
How to Be a Good Mom on a Bad Day – Inspired to Action
“The library is open Sunday! I’ll take Benjamin because I need to pick up a book about prehistoric mammals anyway.” (Oh right, of course, you do.)
“I have a confession to make. A couple years ago I used our blender to blend up raccoon brains to tan a hide. But don’t worry. I cleaned it out real good.” (Commence my full-fledged freak out.)
“Did you see the brand name of this dish towel?! ‘Thomas O’Brien!’ So, you know what that means….it’s an EVIL dish towel.” (Apparently, my attempt to get Daniel as obsessed with Downton Abbey as I am has been successful.)
The Quotable Benjamin:
“These jelly beans are gonna make us nice and fat! YUM!”
“Benjamin, please take all these stuffed animals back to your room.”
“NOOOOO, not my pile of sleeping kittens!”
Pictures Worth Sharing:
My husband grows food and makes it look amazing. This was lettuce wraps. He also made that mint julep for me after a rather long day. Really, he’s the best.
More food art by Daniel. I think it’s an Apple Banana Peacock/Loch Ness Monster.
Hope the rest of your Sunday is loverly!